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	<title>Red Blue Green</title>
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	<description>Because you&#039;re damned and free, no...</description>
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		<title>Red Blue Green</title>
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		<title>soep</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/soep/</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:49:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/soep/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[De randen van mijn handen tasten   over hun randen naar de randen    van mijn andere handen.   Waar ze verloren gegaan zijn, herinneren ze zich niet.  Wanneer er geen randen waren evenmin. Enkel oorlog en liefde laat ons vluchten   en kiezen alles overbodig te doen lijken. Me herinneren dat er ooit geen [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=507&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>De randen van mijn handen tasten</address>
<address>  over hun randen naar de randen</address>
<address>   van mijn andere handen.</address>
<address> </address>
<address>Waar ze verloren gegaan zijn, herinneren ze zich niet.</address>
<address> Wanneer er geen randen waren evenmin.</address>
<address>Enkel oorlog en liefde laat ons vluchten</address>
<address>  en kiezen alles overbodig te doen lijken.</address>
<address>Me herinneren dat er ooit geen rand was,</address>
<address>  maar alles één, samen uniek en in vrede.</address>
<address> </address>
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		<title>tribute to [x]</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/10/04/kanker/</link>
		<comments>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/10/04/kanker/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Oct 2011 21:26:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[De dood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Filosofie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Knagende oormuisjes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Text]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[elements]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fille]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[girl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[idee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kanker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kort]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meisje]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[natuur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[short]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[tom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tragedy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/?p=458</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am watching the city from its highest point, gazing the crowds. Like little ants, they desperately seek for their job, as they don’t know what their destination is. I do. No one likes talking about it… when you look at nature you know, eventually, everything dies. @ “Look into those blue eyes and you [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=458&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>I am watching the city from its highest point, gazing the crowds. Like little ants, they desperately seek for their job, as they don’t know what their destination is.</address>
<address>I do.</address>
<address>No one likes talking about it… when you look at nature you know, eventually, everything dies.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>“Look into those blue eyes and you tell me there’s no life left in there! YOU TELL ME!”</address>
<address>“Mister Castles, I’m sorry to tell you but there’s really nothing we ca..”</address>
<address>“BULL-SHIT!”</address>
<address>I was lying in the hospital.</address>
<address>A year ago I started getting headaches, my memory started to leave needle holes in it and the doctors said it was stress.</address>
<address>A month ago I started coughing blood, I couldn’t speak as well as I used to and the doctors said it might be something bout my stomach.</address>
<address>After some examinations, random events of vomiting blood and spending a whole month away from home, the doctors finally made their conclusion. It was no stress, it wasn’t my stomach, it was cancer. In my brains.</address>
<address>Another three months or so of chemo and other treatments have lead to nothing, making me an official terminal cancer patient. Another one that couldn’t win “her bold struggle” against this diseasese. Ugh.</address>
<address>Needless to say, my dad was devestated and in denial. The thought of losing his only child, his brightest star, to the same disease he lost his wife, my mother, to was too much to bear.</address>
<address><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style:normal;color:#000000;">@ </span></address>
<address>“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be a part of this anymore.”</address>
<address>“But why? WHY? Just give me one reason why you should leave me.”</address>
<address>“You’re behaving weird lately. And the coughing, I don’t get it. It doesn’t ha..”</address>
<address>“I AM NOT ON DRUGS! I DON’T SMOKE!”</address>
<address>I was running across the street, at this point still trying to halt my soon to be EX boyfriend.</address>
<address>“Don’t say you don’t believe me. You know I wouldn’t lie to you!”</address>
<address>“I’m sorry, but… I don’t. I can’t do this, I need to get out. Now.”</address>
<address>A year ago, we met at a mutual friend’s party, he was trying to be all smug and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I believe he was the best thing that ever happened to me.</address>
<address>A month ago, I started coughing blood, I couldn’t speak as well as I used to and he thought I was doing drugs. Secretly behind his back.</address>
<address>After wild accusations, random events of amnesia and spending too much time in bed, he pulled the plug out of our relationship. How’s that for cynism?</address>
<address><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style:normal;color:#000000;">@ </span></address>
<address>I never tried to reach him afterwards, telling him of my cancer would only give him guilt and a fake responsibility of taking care for me until my last day. I didn’t need him, I needed to seize my days until the very last one. No more rules, just what I wanted to do.</address>
<address><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style:normal;color:#000000;">@ </span></address>
<address>I quit school, picked up drawing again, ate things I never tried, faked death, played with death, reconnected with nature, was happy, was down, depressed, devestated, euphoric, hugged strangers, gave away things I never needed, talked with strangers, went to parties, hangovers, be happy when the hangover was over. The more experiences I had, the more this curse turned into a blessing.</address>
<address>Only the fact that my blessing was an unknown visit from Death sometimes kept me down.</address>
<address><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style:normal;color:#000000;">@ </span></address>
<address>I’m standing in a field, with the clouds floating over my head, softly crying. I wish they were sharing my sorrow, but they’re not. Just as the soil starts getting wet and muddy, it’s all human to say it’s a metaphor. That the mud is representing me as a flow in this lifestream, getting detached from the hard ground. Moving to another destination.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">bleep</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">bloob</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">blap</span></address>
<address>~epilogue~</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">optional ending</span></address>
<address>As I was standing in the field, a cold wind drifted up to me. It wasn&#8217;t raining harder, but it felt as if the drops started to feel heavier and heavier. Almost like hail. I heard footsteps behind me, flattening the tall grass, breaking the sticks.</address>
<address>I didn&#8217;t dare to turn my head, as I knew who it was. The footsteps stopped, a few feet away from me. The wind layed down, the rain didn&#8217;t feel as hard anymore. Everything was all right, except for my eyes. They cried.</address>
<address>The footsteps continued until they were behind me, someone hugged me.</address>
<address>&#8220;I don&#8217;t&#8230; I don&#8217;t&#8230;&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;It&#8217;s time to go, my dear&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;No&#8230; no! Not yet!&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;I know, honey. I know.&#8221;</address>
<address>As I sobbed and cried, time seemed to float by. There was no wind, no rain. No sound but siren songs.</address>
<address>Everything in its right place.</address>
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		<title>Sylvia</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/sylvia/</link>
		<comments>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/sylvia/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 01 Sep 2011 02:56:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[De dood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Knagende oormuisjes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Text]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[euthanasia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hospital]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[of]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suicide]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/?p=455</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As I grow older, time seems to go faster. As I grow sicker, time seems to slow down. The times I feel well, night can’t wait to come. The times I cough blood, the sun scoffs my suffering. @ Whenever a friend arrives, I can count the seconds of laughter. Whenever I’m alone, I count [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=455&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>As I grow older, time seems to go faster.</address>
<address>As I grow sicker, time seems to slow down.</address>
<address>The times I feel well, night can’t wait to come.</address>
<address>The times I cough blood, the sun scoffs my suffering.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>Whenever a friend arrives, I can count the seconds of laughter.</address>
<address>Whenever I’m alone, I count the years till sundown.</address>
<address>Long forgotten, all that is random.</address>
<address>Never ceased, pills, IV, the ceiling.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>This hospital is my world, it is unheard.</address>
<address>To die, but not choosing the path.</address>
<address>What if my cancer can free me,</address>
<address>   The sweet wrath of the bird.</address>
<address><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style:normal;color:#000000;">@ </span></address>
<address>Leaving its broken cage, a prisoner released.</address>
<address>But after ten steps in Paradise, this man shall be deceased.</address>
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		<title>Unplugged</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/07/16/unplugged/</link>
		<comments>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/07/16/unplugged/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Jul 2011 01:01:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[De dood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Knagende oormuisjes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Text]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wonderland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[droids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fanfiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fantasy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fictie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liquor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[matrix]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[therapy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/?p=449</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I remember the day. I remember everything. The syringes, the droids, the cables,&#8230; even the goo.   At the time I was bartending a cafe, the Artist. Many local bands came to play their first gigs there, some of them were regulars. That particular night this black dude was playing his guitar, some oldskool blues. [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=449&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>I remember the day. I remember everything.</address>
<address>The syringes, the droids, the cables,&#8230; even the goo.</address>
<address> </address>
<address>At the time I was bartending a cafe, the Artist. Many local bands came to play their first gigs there, some of them were regulars. That particular night this black dude was playing his guitar, some oldskool blues. He was playing a Les Paul, if I&#8217;m not mistaken. The guitar had holes in it, gunholes, destroying the beautiful cherry finish that embraced its female contoures. The guy had a bushy grey beard, but stylish, not like a wizard or a bum or something.</address>
<address>&#8220;Hey, you know who that guy is?&#8221;, said one of the customers ordering a pint.</address>
<address>&#8220;Nah, don&#8217;t listen that much to music at home.&#8221;, I lied. I&#8217;m a bit racist, even though my favourite artist is Nat King Cole.</address>
<address>&#8220;That&#8217;s John Lee Davis, man! He&#8217;s a legend. See those holes? Those ain&#8217;t no regular holes, man. Those are bullet holes. Wanna know how he got them?&#8221;, I just knodded. He would tell even when I told him to piss off.</address>
<address>&#8220;Li&#8217;l John here met this FINE woman named Lucille, so you know what a brotha&#8217;s gotta do. He takes her out, some of this, some of that, some love under the sheets aaight? Huhmm, anyway. He&#8217;s playing this gig, see and this nigga comes storming through the crowd all the way to the front. Just when he&#8217;s a few feet from the stage he starts yelling &#8216;What the hell makes you think you could ever.EVAH. fuck my wife, boy! Try n fuck THIS!&#8217;, takes a revolver out of his pocket and empties it on the damn nigga. Thing he didn&#8217;t know is that those kind o&#8217; guitars are pretty fat and caught most of the bullets, saving this bad boy&#8217;s life.&#8221;, he said with a smile as if he was the lucky motherfucker himself.</address>
<address>&#8220;Well, that&#8217;s quite a story you got there. Did he make any drastic changes to his life too?&#8221;, I was joking.</address>
<address>&#8220;Yeah, kinda. John was making this record at the time, but he lost all his soul back then already. He made records for the money, just producing songs like crackers from the factory. He named the guitar after her, promising himself to never forget what a gift life is and hell is right round the corner. The record was all right, though. Too religious for my taste. Can you fill me up, bro?&#8221;, talking monkeys are always thirsty.</address>
<address> </address>
<address>&#8220;What&#8217;s weird, is why he didn&#8217;t see it coming?&#8221;, I said when I wanted to only think it. Monkey started talking again.</address>
<address>&#8220;You heard that too? Seriously, lately everyone&#8217;s been talking bout it.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Talking bout what?&#8221;, I was intrigued and filled myself a glass of whiskey. There was some applause, Mr.Davis started another song.</address>
<address>&#8220;Musicians, mediums, even athletes&#8230; People say they have this, I dunno, heightened sense. Like, they feel there&#8217;s something more than just this life. Like&#8230; What if this life wasn&#8217;t real? What if it&#8217;s all fake? Or just a dream, man? Can you imagine that?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;All too well&#8230;&#8221;, my dreams always seemed more realistic than life. </address>
<address>&#8220;Once I dreamt I was in a sort of bath, and had something that felt like a coin on the back of my head.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Shit, man! You, too? There have been rumors bout it lately that many people have these weird dreams, bout being abducted by aliens n shizzle. Some of them even died or killed themselves after that. What if it&#8217;s real?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Hmm, then I guess there is totally no reason for life or whatsoever. Cheers!&#8221;, and I chugged my whiskey all at once. It burnt down my throat, a sensation I loved bout the liquor. But this time, it really burnt. </address>
<address>There was this big applause and our big legend came to the bar. Probably to have a drink.</address>
<address> </address>
<address>&#8220;Lou, you here mothafucka?&#8221;, the monkeys knew each other.</address>
<address>&#8220;Yeah, man! Wouldn&#8217;t miss a gig for the world when you playin in my town! Hey, meet the&#8230; dude, you okay?&#8221;</address>
<address>Blood was all over the bar, apparently it came from my throat when I started caughing.</address>
<address>It still burnt, so I figured I drank something mistaken for whiskey. My stomach started to upset too, and got hot. Next thing I know, I was dragged outside, put on a stretcher and rolled into an ambulance. Lights were blinking, two guys were yelling at each other over not having the right fluids in the syringes and thus injecting me with meds I didn&#8217;t even need, pushing me in my steps towards the corner. Last thing that came to me was the doctor, flashing his light in my eyes and whispering something to a nurse. She was blonde, nice legs I think. </address>
<address>Just before I closed my eyes, thinking I would embrace my oldest friend for the first time, I heard the doctor&#8217;s whisper loud and clear throught my head: &#8220;This man is a dead one.&#8221;. The hospital started fading, and my heart suddenly fastened it beat. Pads were lubed, voltages were hightened, clear.repeat.</address>
<address> </address>
<address>Shocking to believe, syringes returned in my vision and everything started turning pink. The room became warmer and for some unknown reason I started screaming. My voice started changing, as if it came through a telephone, my hands clamped themselves and everything around me turned into bits, went green, back to pink, static.</address>
<address>I lost my vision, my voice was screeching like white noise. Was this death? Is this the neverending afterlife everyone tries to flourish for something beautiful? My answer came soon.</address>
<address>The doctor put a blanket over my face, while I was laying in a tub full of pink goo. A floating orb which seemed like a droid to me came towards me, refracting its bright red eye and blinking some red and blue lights. Before I knew, syringes were released from my body, dozens of cables disconnected themselves and a long fat one started pulling back from my throat. The tub started tilting and I got flushed with everything through a giant drain, and fell in a sewer filled with corpses, some of &#8216;em fresh, others already rotting. No rats, weird.</address>
<address>I guess it was trauma, but the whole experience made me faint.</address>
<address>When I came to my senses, I was laying on the cold ground wrapped in a cloth. A man was sitting in front of me, working. I think, he was using computers. I inspected my body, feeling the knobs where the cables were mere hours ago, even the &#8220;coin&#8221; on the back of my head was there. The monkey was right.</address>
<address> </address>
<address>The man turned his chair, stood up and came towards me. He crouched. The man had a deep look, inspecting my soul. He smiled, reached out his hand and said &#8220;welcome to the real world&#8221;.</address>
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		<title>Backdrifting</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/hailtothethief/</link>
		<comments>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/hailtothethief/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Jun 2011 04:16:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[losse gedachte]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Text]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/?p=446</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[White coats turn red,    this night blood will be shed. Sucked, licked, stored,    no time to get bored. @ Creatures of the night patrol,    trying to control. We gave it our best,    but there was nothing we could do. =( So we&#8217;re backdrifting,    reset our attempts to exterminate the King. [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=446&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>White coats turn red,</address>
<address>   this night blood will be shed.</address>
<address>Sucked, licked, stored,</address>
<address>   no time to get bored.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>Creatures of the night patrol,</address>
<address>   trying to control.</address>
<address>We gave it our best,</address>
<address>   but there was nothing we could do.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">=(</span></address>
<address>So we&#8217;re backdrifting,</address>
<address>   reset our attempts to exterminate the King.</address>
<address>Floating back to the wall,</address>
<address>  bounce, impact, break, fall.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">anime_shed</span></address>
<address>The cake is a lie&#8230;</address>
<address>This night blood was shed,</address>
<address>   white coats were once red.</address>
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		<title>Cavalry</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/quicksilver-messenger-service/</link>
		<comments>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/quicksilver-messenger-service/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 17:47:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[losse gedachte]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Text]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wonderland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blondie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[calvary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clint]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eastwood]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[messenger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychedelic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quicksilver]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[service]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sixties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spaghetti]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ugly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[western]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[westerns]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/?p=438</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I close my eyes, dropped in some sandy town. Clint Eastwood gazes at me, his eyes widen, shouts &#8220;Get down!&#8221;    so I drop to the ground. A bullet blazes through my hair, Clint takes his gun,    shoots, kills my dispair. &#8220;Watch out next time kid&#8221;, he warns me while pulling me off the [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=438&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>I close my eyes, dropped in some sandy town.</address>
<address>Clint Eastwood gazes at me, his eyes widen, shouts &#8220;Get down!&#8221;</address>
<address>   so I drop to the ground.</address>
<address>A bullet blazes through my hair, Clint takes his gun,</address>
<address>   shoots, kills my dispair.</address>
<address>&#8220;Watch out next time kid&#8221;, he warns me while pulling me off the ground,</address>
<address>   &#8221; for I&#8217;m not always around&#8221;.</address>
<address>He hands me a gun, with a handle of white ivory,</address>
<address>   &#8221;for when there&#8217;s no other way out to see&#8221;.</address>
<address>Wise advice, I much oblige. </address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span><br />
Just when he wants to get up his horse,</address>
<address>   there&#8217;s a sound in the distance, trembling the ground with great force.</address>
<address>Raiders come a runnin, with the town on their minds.</address>
<address>   &#8221;For one last time, I won&#8217;t leave you behind&#8230;&#8221;</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">spaghetti</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">westerns</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">rock!</span></address>
<address>Inspired by Quicksilver Messenger Service&#8217;s &#8220;Calvary&#8221;:</address>
<address><span style="text-align:center; display: block;"><a href="http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/quicksilver-messenger-service/"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/mBWZdCMdOVU/2.jpg" alt="" /></a></span></address>
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		<title>Jantje&#8217;s oma</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/jantjes-oma/</link>
		<comments>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/jantjes-oma/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Apr 2011 06:31:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[losse gedachte]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Text]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wonderland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gedicht]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jantje]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kinderen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindjes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mopje]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[onschuld]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[racisme]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[school]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[taak]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[werk]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/?p=427</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Toon mij uw kiezen,    dan vertel ik wie u beft.&#8221; zei oma tijdens het laatste bezoek. Kiezen had ze zelf niet meer,    ze waren namelijk zoek.   Onder het bedje, tussen het gras.   Je zou nog geloven dat haar gebit      gaan lopen was.   &#8220;Turken zijn niet te koop,    je moet [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=427&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>&#8220;Toon mij uw kiezen,</address>
<address>   dan vertel ik wie u beft.&#8221;</address>
<address>zei oma tijdens het laatste bezoek.</address>
<address>Kiezen had ze zelf niet meer,</address>
<address>   ze waren namelijk zoek.</address>
<address> </address>
<address>Onder het bedje, tussen het gras.</address>
<address>  Je zou nog geloven dat haar gebit</address>
<address>     gaan lopen was.</address>
<address> </address>
<address>&#8220;Turken zijn niet te koop,</address>
<address>   je moet er een vangen wanneer hij langsloopt!&#8221;</address>
<address>Spijtig genoeg had ze geen tourette&#8217;s,</address>
<address>   anders moest ze niet weglopen</address>
<address>    vanwege d&#8217;r bruin geklets.</address>
<address> </address>
<address>Vorig jaar zat ze in de kelder, van Osama.</address>
<address>Maar ook daar moest ze lopen,</address>
<address> &#8221;waarom dragen roetmoppen dan ook overdag een pyjama?&#8221;</address>
<address> </address>
<address>Ik denk dat haar tandjes ergens anders zijn gaan dansen,</address>
<address>   waar ze nog mooi wit kunnen glanzen.</address>
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		<title>Blondie</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/04/22/blondie/</link>
		<comments>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/04/22/blondie/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Apr 2011 22:32:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Filosofie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Knagende oormuisjes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Text]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dave]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kortverhaal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laurien]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[postmodern]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[short]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[story]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/?p=411</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hoe verzin je een verhaal? Steek je een sigaret op en laat je die rustig zelfmoord plegen, misschien je zonnebril opzetten en alles roze laten schijnen, gewoon je dromen opschrijven en dan wat aanpassen zodat het een moraal kan bevatten of toch een oude herinnering opsprokkelen? Of gewoon alles uit je duim zuigen? @ Ik [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=411&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>Hoe verzin je een verhaal? Steek je een sigaret op en laat je die rustig zelfmoord plegen, misschien je zonnebril opzetten en alles roze laten schijnen, gewoon je dromen opschrijven en dan wat aanpassen zodat het een moraal kan bevatten of toch een oude herinnering opsprokkelen? Of gewoon alles uit je duim zuigen?</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>Ik herinner me in de wachtzaal te zitten. Niemand bekend, lekker alleen. Ik had een grimas op m&#8217;n gezicht, vraag me niet waarom en m&#8217;n ogen gesloten om de muziek beter te voelen. Het onweerstaanbare getintel zorgt ervoor dat mijn lichaam toch weer mee begint te schudden op het ritme, een ritme dat verstoord wordt door een enkele por op mijn knie.</address>
<address>&#8220;Waarom ben je zo blij?&#8221;, het was een klein meisje dat me gepord had.</address>
<address>&#8220;Hoe bedoel je?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Je zit te lachen, maar je zit bij de dokter&#8230;&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Kom Laurien. Laat die meneer met rust.&#8221; zei dr moeder en glimlachte naar mij verontschuldigend.</address>
<address>&#8220;Och, &#8216;t is ok hoor.&#8221; antwoordde ik al knipogend.</address>
<address>&#8220;Goh.. Laurien, ik weet het zelf niet.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Kom je soms graag naar de dokter?&#8221;, vroeg ze met een raar gezicht.</address>
<address>&#8220;Nee hoor, niemand denk ik.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Oef!&#8221;, zuchtte ze alsof er een ton van haar borst afvloog en ze ging terug naast haar moeder zitten.</address>
<address>&#8220;Maar&#8230;&#8221; *KLAK* &#8220;euhm.. Verschueren?&#8221;</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>De moeder bevestigde en ging hand in hand met dochter binnen. M&#8217;n oortjes had ik allang terug ingestoken en sloot m&#8217;n ogen weer, de gebeurtenis liet ik over me vliegen. Kinderen stellen toch altijd vragen, logisch. Wat ik had weet ik al niet meer, waarschijnlijk gewoon briefje gaan halen voor school.</address>
<address>Er ging enige tijd voorbij, allang vergeten wat er gebeurd was, zittend op m&#8217;n regulier bankje in het park. De wind die je zachtjes streelt, de zon die je warme kusjes geeft. Ik legde me neer om een lekker dutje te doen, wanneer ik net weer gepord word.</address>
<address>&#8220;Hey, ken je me nog?&#8221; en daar stond ze weer.</address>
<address>&#8220;Euh.. niet echt. Waar moet ik je gezien hebben?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Bij de dokter, stommerik! Laurien!&#8221;, en ze presenteerde zich in een pose. Ze was al wat gegroeid, maar nog maar net een puber denk ik. Zoveel borst had ze nog niet.</address>
<address>&#8220;Zegt me niet zoveel,.. wat heb je toen tegen me gezegd misschien?&#8221;, ik kon het me echt niet herinneren.</address>
<address>&#8220;Ik vroeg je waarom je aan het lachen was, net zoals nu!&#8221; en ze stak praktisch haar vinger al wijzend in m&#8217;n mond.</address>
<address>Ik dacht zeer diep na, en net toen toen ik me haar zogezegd herinnerde kwam ze echt in mn hoofd ophuppelen.</address>
<address>&#8220;Ahja, je porde me toen ook al.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;En jij zat toen ook met van die dopjes in je oren.&#8221;, het deed me lachen.</address>
<address>&#8220;Zeg, waar is je moeder?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Weet ik niet, ben ze al even kwijt.&#8221;, en ze trok haar schouders omhoog.</address>
<address>Eerste &#8216;t beste dat ik nog weet is dat ik haar hielp dr moeder te zoeken, wat niet zoveel opleverde. We praatten wat, blijkbaar zat ze op de school waar ik vroeger ook zat en ze is slimmer dan de meeste meisjes (stelde veel vragen, maar wist er meestal zelf al het antwoord op), ze had ook door wanneer je loog (dan zei ze altijd &#8220;ahja&#8221; op een eigenwijs toontje). Na een uur ofzo zoeken (nou ja, we waren gewoon een boom opgeklommen) stelde ze haar vraag voor een derde keer:</address>
<address>&#8220;Waarom lach je nu zomaar? Heb je een vriendinnetje?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Ik? Nee, da&#8217;s al even geleden. Ik denk eerder dat m&#8217;n leven op dit moment zowat.. mja, perfect is.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Perfect? Bestaat dat?!&#8221;, ze viel bijna achterover toen ik het woord gebruikte.</address>
<address>&#8220;Hmm, niet echt. Maar je kunt er wel heel dichtbij geraken. Kijk, als iemand zomaar lacht, voor totaal geen reden dan ook, dan is het waarschijnlijk ofwel omdat hij heel gelukkig is met zichzelf op dat moment ofwel is hij zowat gestoord, vrees ik.&#8221;, een andere uitleg kon ik niet meteen verzinnen.</address>
<address>&#8220;En wat ben jij dan? Gek?&#8221;, ze begon te giechelen.</address>
<address>&#8220;Ik? Soms,&#8221;, zei al grappend, &#8220;nee.. ik denk beetje van beiden, vooral met mezelf maar als je niet een beetje gek bent dan kun je ook nooit echt gelukkig zijn denk ik.&#8221;, ik zeg nogal veel &#8220;denk ik&#8221;&#8230;</address>
<address>&#8220;Hah, vreemde jongen.&#8221;, zei ze al spottend, &#8220;Och nee! Mijn moeder is thuis! Dada!&#8221; en weg was ze.</address>
<address>Zomaar. Was ze me nu komen zoeken enkel om haar vraag eindelijk te kunnen beantwoorden? Of was ze van thuis weggelopen en me toevallig tegengekomen? God verbiedt dat ik het ooit weet.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>Soms dacht ik nog aan Laurien, maar niet veel. Jaren gingen voorbij, voor ik een antwoord kreeg op m&#8217;n eigen vraag. Ik zat bij het fort met wat vrienden en in de verte zag ik haar, en hoe: een volgroeide dame in haar zomerjaren met de zon op haar hoofd. Niemand zou haar ooit kunnen weerstaan, het dodelijkste wapen dat op nog geen seconde je hart kan uitrukken, kapottrappen en dan nog eens verscheuren om je zo met een lege holte achter te laten voor de rest van je leven.</address>
<address>Ik sprong meteen recht, &#8220;Hey! Ken je me nog?&#8221;</address>
<address>Ze bekeek me eens van kop tot teen &#8220;Hmneeh, moet dat dan?&#8221;, ze moest denken dat ik een van die players was, want geïnteresseerd zag ze er niet uit en wou eerder zo snel mogelijk uit mijn visier zijn.</address>
<address>&#8220;Komaan Laurien! Dave? De jongen van bij de dokter en daarna in het park toen je zogezegd je moeder kwijt was? Ken je me dan niet meer?&#8221;, en haar ogen vielen open als de hemel na hevige regenval.</address>
<address>&#8220;Dave? Oh, Dave!&#8221;, ze omhelsde me meteen, &#8220;hoe is het met je? dat ik je hier tegenkom, hah!&#8221;</address>
<address> We stapten door het fortje en praatten wat bij. Zo bleek dat haar moeder eigenlijk allang dood was en toen ze me in het park zag bij haar tante woonde. D&#8217;r vader was een alcoholieker en sloeg haar als sprookje voor het slapengaan.</address>
<address>Zo las ik later in haar dagboek. Tegen mij deed ze nog steeds of haar moeder leefde, zelfs op dit eigenste moment: &#8220;Oh, het is al donker.. Mag ik anders bij jou blijven slapen? Als ik het mijn moeder laat weten, zal ze het niet erg vinden.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Euh.. Ja, zeker?&#8221;, ik twijfelde omdat ze amper meerderjarig was, al zag ze er nog zo jong uit, en wou niet de titel van pedo in m&#8217;n buurt verdienen. Ze belde naar haar &#8220;moeder&#8221; en ging met goedkeuring naar mij thuis.</address>
<address>Ik woonde toen op de zevende verdieping van een loft, iets wat ze &#8220;megawijs&#8221; vond. Met een wijntje keken we uit over de stad wanneer de waarheid boven kwam:</address>
<address>&#8220;Heb je geen vrouw, ofzo?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Moet ik niet, ik ben gelukkig met mezelf en kan er niet tegen als er constant op m&#8217;n vingers gekeken wordt.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Maar mis je dan niet bepaalde dingen? Romantiek, een schouder om op te huilen, kindjes,&#8230;&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Daar heb je toch vrienden voor! behalve die kindjes dan. Eigenlijk, je vrienden krijgen wel kinderen. Als ik dan ooit een vaderlijke bui zou hebben, kan ik wel eens babysitten of een bezoekje brengen ofzo.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Hmm.. en seks? Ik bedoel.. je kunt toch niet zomaar een vriendin even lekker nemen of constant naar de hoeren lopen? Daar is toch niets aan?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Misschien wordt seks gewoon overschat.&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Ahja.. en ontmaagden?&#8221;, vroeg ze. En dat op die typische toon van wil-jij-iets-voor-me-doen..</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>Een uiterst sensuele nacht plus een maand later gaat m&#8217;n deurbel af. Politie.</address>
<address>&#8220;Goeiemiddag, meneer. Bent u Dave van Temsche?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Ja.. Waarom?&#8221;, toch niet..</address>
<address>&#8220;Mogen wij dan efkes naar boven komen om met u te spreken?&#8221;, wel dus.. ik had het al eerder meegemaakt dat vrouwen graag een nacht verwend worden en dan nooit meer van zich laten horen, maar dat ik aan Laurien dacht was dus niet zo toevallig. Ze hadden haar op straat gevonden, op een bankje. Ze dachten dat ze sliep, maar ze was dood. Overdosis, zeiden ze.</address>
<address>&#8220;Maar waarom komt u dan naar mij? Ik heb daar toch niets mee te maken?&#8221;</address>
<address>&#8220;Niet echt. Het enigste wat ze bij zich had was een soort van dagboek,&#8221; de agent legde een klein rood boekje op tafel, &#8221;we dachten daar iets in te vinden maar er wordt enkel veel over jou gepraat dus we dachten dat u het misschien wou hebben. Als aandenken.&#8221;</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>In het dagboek stond inderdaad niet veel behalve wat gedichtjes, tekeningen en over onze avond toen. Ze beschreef alles heel nauwkeurig en hoe het haar deed gloeien, alsof de hemel eventjes in haar poes verscheen. De komende maand begon ze drugs te gebruiken, ook al kwam het heel vaag over. Het leek meer alsof ze iemand alles mompelend wou vertellen. Het laatste wat ze geschreven had was aan mij geadresseerd (het begon met, &#8220;Dave, ik hoop dat ik je dit ooit kan zeggen&#8230;&#8221;).</address>
<address>Daar stond heel letterlijk haar leven beschreven: hoe ze haar moeder verloor en het vandaar bergaf ging. Na mij gezocht en gevonden te hebben, had ze haar &#8220;bucket list&#8221; afgewerkt en koos om &#8220;de wereld op een coole manier fuck you te zeggen&#8221;.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>Had ik ze maar niet naar haar moeder gestuurd.</address>
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			<media:title type="html">musicxxaddicted</media:title>
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		<title>Generation Zero</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/generation-zero/</link>
		<comments>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/generation-zero/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Mar 2011 16:30:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Filosofie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Future]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Knagende oormuisjes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Text]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denken]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[generation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[idea]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[idee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liefde]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lost]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lyrics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strokes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[whatever]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[x]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/?p=399</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don&#8217;t like to get out of my bed,    don&#8217;t wanna go to school     everything I wanna know is on the internet. @gmail Too lazy, serve yourself on a golden platter   or I&#8217;ll break you down to the bones    doesn&#8217;t matter cause I&#8217;ll incinerate all the rest. yumyum Give me the remote,    [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=399&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>I don&#8217;t like to get out of my bed,</address>
<address>   don&#8217;t wanna go to school</address>
<address>    everything I wanna know is on the internet.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@gmail</span></address>
<address>Too lazy, serve yourself on a golden platter</address>
<address>  or I&#8217;ll break you down to the bones</address>
<address>   doesn&#8217;t matter cause I&#8217;ll incinerate all the rest.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">yumyum</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#999999;">Give me the remote,</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#999999;">   so I know what to think of the rest.</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#999999;">I&#8217;ll do my best to walk in line, I swear.</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">lolol</span></address>
<address>The world is in trouble,</address>
<address>   I don&#8217;t really care.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="color:#999999;">(</span>look at me being a poet<span style="color:#999999;">)</span></span></address>
<address>Instead give me a guitar,</address>
<address>   let someone else solve the</address>
<address>    economy, ecology, astronomy, fuck it!</address>
<address>And I&#8217;ll sing a song to ease your quest.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">shove it to another one</span></address>
<address>Lie to me, please.</address>
<address>   The truth hurts SO much.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">cant take it</span></address>
<address>It&#8217;s just too much to take,</address>
<address>   I can&#8217;t make a little mistake.</address>
<address>My whole life has to be perfect.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">or smth, </span></address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="color:#999999;">[</span>at least I fuck who I want<span style="color:#999999;">]</span></span></address>
<address>yeah.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">something</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">something</span></address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">something</span></address>
<address></address>
<address></address>
<address></address>
<address>Inspired by The Strokes:</address>
<address><span style="text-align:center; display: block;"><a href="http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/generation-zero/"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/_l09H-3zzgA/2.jpg" alt="" /></a></span></address>
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			<media:title type="html">musicxxaddicted</media:title>
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		<title>De Verwaarloosbaarheid der Getallen</title>
		<link>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/03/14/de-verwaarloosbaarheid-der-getallen/</link>
		<comments>http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/2011/03/14/de-verwaarloosbaarheid-der-getallen/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Mar 2011 19:16:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>musicxxaddicted</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[losse gedachte]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Text]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chinezen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[idee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kanker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mannen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marokkanen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moeder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[procenten]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[turken]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vrouwen]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://damnedandfree.wordpress.com/?p=394</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[China vormt bijna 20% van de wereldbevolking. De wereldbevolking bestaat voor 50% uit mannen,    de rest bestaat dus voor 49% uit vrouwen     en voor 1% uit aliens. 94% van alle meisjes heeft complexen over zichzelf. 14,28% van alle vrouwen krijgt te maken met baarmoederhalskanker,    22% van alle vrouwen wordt slachtoffer van borstkanker [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=damnedandfree.wordpress.com&amp;blog=10990152&amp;post=394&amp;subd=damnedandfree&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<address>China vormt bijna 20% van de wereldbevolking.</address>
<address>De wereldbevolking bestaat voor 50% uit mannen,</address>
<address>   de rest bestaat dus voor 49% uit vrouwen</address>
<address>    en voor 1% uit aliens.</address>
<address>94% van alle meisjes heeft complexen over zichzelf.</address>
<address>14,28% van alle vrouwen krijgt te maken met baarmoederhalskanker,</address>
<address>   22% van alle vrouwen wordt slachtoffer van borstkanker</address>
<address>    en zelfs evenveel van alle vrouwen sterft ook door die kanker.</address>
<address>Bij zwangere vrouwen is de behoefte aan vitamines zowat 50% hoger.</address>
<address> Rokende zwangere vrouwen hebben 27% meer kans op miskramen,</address>
<address>   44% van de Vlaamse jeugd rookt.</address>
<address>13% van de Vlaamse jeugd heeft geen diploma middelbaar onderwijs.</address>
<address>56% van de Antwerpse kinderen hebben een allochtone afkomst,</address>
<address>   60% van de Turken trouwt een meisje uit hun moederland.</address>
<address>75% van de mensen die OCMW trekken zijn van allochtone afkomst.</address>
<address>  58% van België geeft zelf toe racistisch te zijn.</address>
<address><span style="color:#000000;">@</span></address>
<address>Maar België is amper 0,00006% van de hele wereld&#8230;</address>
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